Where have all the good clothes gone?

I just got back from some retail therapy... bad news, people. There simply are no good clothes for fall. Pull out the old stand-bys from last year, because trust me, even if they're faded or a little pilled under the arms, they're probably still better than what I saw today.

Here is a list of problems encountered this afternoon.

1. The no. 1 problem plaguing the fall fashion line-up can be summed up in this question I overheard in two different dressing rooms in two different stores: "Does this shirt make me look pregnant?" I mean seriously, does every single shirt have to have an empire waist with a voluminous bottom half? Do the fashion designers of the world have no faith in American women and have thus determined that the best way of dealing with a little unwanted padding around the middle is to simply borrow the tried-and-true pattern from their good friends in maternity wear?
2. Unless your name is Anne and you hail from Green Gables, you might find the puffed sleeve trend a little disturbing. Actually, Anne is currently sporting at least 2 of fall's heavy-hitting trends, the aforementioned puffed sleeves, and the ruffled bodice. Another terrible idea if you have anything over what, a B cup?
   
3. My final gripe with this year's fall fashion is the cropped round-button 3/4-sleeve boxy jacket. Here's how this one goes. The designers of the world united and said, "Let's take some beautiful wool, known for its fluid drape, and wrap it around your shoulders, buttoning at the neck so that the fabric lies over the largest part of your torso and then extends down in a straight line from there. Voila! Perfection!"

So, let's take a stand. If no one buys into any of these trends and the clothes stay on the shelves, perhaps they'll start making some reasonable clothes again and we can all get dressed without having a meltdown every single morning.